Sunday, February 15, 2015

Feeling Better

I have not felt like posting for a while. I suspect it is related to my last post which was about cabin fever. I should still be suffering from that since it is below zero and expecting yet more snow. My husband went out last night and cleared the drive in the minus zero conditions. He also keeps about half of the deck cleared of snow so that when I look out the sliding doors from where I sit, I don't have to see all snow.  This was his idea two or three years ago and he continues to do it. God bless him.

God bless him in all ways, but especially the past few days. I always hated Valentine's Day because he never got into it, would give me a lovely card and that's it. I would cook him a wonderful meal that day, which was usually filet steaks that I would splurge on and would bake him a favorite dessert. This was the absolute best I could do for the last five years since not being able to drive.  BUT, this year he got it!  He took me out to dinner. We opted to go out on the 13th because, like most with FTD, crowds, confusion and a cacophony of sounds do me in pretty quickly. We got dressed up and went out. It was like a date and we haven't done that in a long time. We usually go to restaurants where no one would think twice if you came in wearing your work clothes, so this was a treat.  Plus, I got a gift... and a nice card. And you can probably guess what I'm going to say now. On the 14th, I still cooked his filet dinner and baked and decorated valentine cookies. Just seemed right.

Not only did that get me out somewhere special to break out of the cabin fever, but it made me feel like I am still appreciated. I hesitate to speak for everyone with FTD, but we have so many limitations and often feel useless, at least I do. So anytime I receive a compliment or am made to feel loved and appreciated, it greatly improves my attitude and approach to dealing with this stupid disease.

An interesting thing happened this past week. I think all of you, those with FTD and all who care for them, had a difficult time getting an accurate diagnosis. This week, I went in for my 6-month checkup with my family doc. She is the one I have raved about before as she refused to accept the diagnosis of depression that the local neurologists game me. After we had gone over my blood work and petty little conditions she keeps track of, like my B12 level and thyroid level, she sat back down and wheeled her little stool closer and said "Now tell me about your FTD and how it is going." So we talked for at least 15 minutes (pity the next patient waiting).  Then, she actually apologized for not knowing much about FTD! I said two things to her. First, I told her that she is a GP and is not expected to know all about everything, that's what the specialists are for. Then, I laughed and said "Besides, most neurologists don't know anything about it either."  Ain't it the truth???

Another development since my last post is that I have finally given in and am actually using my cane/walking stick unless I know I have someone to hang on to the whole time. The stupid legs just won't cooperate anymore. The legs giving out or not reacting to the brain impulses causes a lot of staggering. I'm sure a lot of people who see me out are thinking that I am drunk. So my grandpap's walking stick that my dad made for him is getting another good workout. It's nice to be able to use this heirloom!

Hope you all are keeping warm!

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